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good morning, everyone August 6, 2008

Posted by That Guy in Meta.

Good morning, everyone, and thanks for coming to today’s project kick-off meeting. If you’ll direct your attention to the screen at the front of the room… oh, hello, just fill right in, there’s plenty of room at the back… now, as I was saying, direct your attention to the presentation, and I’ll just dial in on the conference line.

Okay, hold on, let me just check my e-mail for the password.

*nervous chuckle* Every time I try to do something important, it slows down. I mean– ahh, there we are!


Yes, we can hear you. Would everyone please mute their phone? We’re going to get started in five minutes, just to give everyone time to get logged on and situated. Can everyone on the call log into the workspace?

Oh? Oh, okay, well, the URL is… Yes, I’m logged in. I’m sharing my desktop. Okay, y’know what? Let me just call the IT guy.

Um, to the person who just made an inappropriate remark, your phone is not muted…

And eventually the meeting begins.

This site is a guide to navigating meetings that start just in this fashion. We’re confident you’ll use it as a valuable resource going forward.


1. a very corporatespeak first anniversary « corporatespeak - August 13, 2009

[…] a very corporatespeak first anniversary August 13, 2009 Posted by That Guy in Meta. Tags: anniversary, corporatespeak trackback Just a note that, back on August 6, 2008, I posted my first post on CorporateSpeak and we opened the door to understanding the crap you hear at the office. I completely missed the first anniversary — I was a tad busy at the time — but here’s the first post. […]

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