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let’s be healthy and dissatisfied together! September 9, 2008

Posted by That Guy in Observations.
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As was posted recently, CorporateSpeak recently moved into a new headquarters building. Six weeks after that, the company fitness center — the gym — was moved there. That Guy was finally able to use the gym and locker-room combination for its intended purpose. Here’s some observations:

THE FITNESS ROOM

* The entire gym smells like that weird rubber they use on floors… because the floors are made of weird rubber. No fun when you’re trying to do push-ups.

* There are four televisions on the walls. One can be viewed by the left-hand elliptical machine. One can be viewed, on an angle, by the left-hand treadmill. One is almost against the wall to the changing rooms — no one can view it there — and one is in the middle of the wall, more or less in front of the multi-fitness weightlifting apparatus.

* The ellipticals and treadmills are so close to the wall that the 22-inch flatscreen LCD TVs will burn your retinas.

* They did fix the broken stairmaster and they did deliver all new weights. I used one of the two.

* In the old gym, everything more-or-less faced the door. Now, no one doing cardio can see the doors without twisting awkwardly. And anyone using the ellipticals will have their backsides stared at by people on the stairmasters behind them. People on the left treadmill can be seen through the window beside the fitness room door.

* There is no fan. There is also no carpeting, so it is doubtful that the place will smell quite as bad as in the old building, but it may still get funky. Also, the windows do not open. In fact, no windows in CorporateSpeak headquarters open.

THE CHANGING ROOM

* In theory, it was a great idea to build a bathroom with a door to a changing/shower area. In practice, not so much.

* The door from the bathroom to the shower room does not lock. The only privacy in the shower room is behind the shower curtain.

* The shower curtain is mounted outside the shower cubicle, so water drips down onto the floor. The floor is tiled, and slopes to a drain, but it is still unsafe to walk on. In the old building, it was possible to put a cloth mat or shirt on the floor, but now the dripped-out water makes that impossible.

* There are no towel hooks, towel bars, or shelves in the shower room.

* The shower cube is only 75 percent the size of the showers in the old building. Also, in the new building, there is one shower per sex, while in the old there were two. There are also 60 percent fewer lockers in the new building (per sex).

* The new showers have low-flow shower heads. But they also have soap dishes, shampoo shelves, disabled-persons’ bars, and a fold-down bench. One wonders how long before that bench is used for nefarious purposes.

* There are no clothes hooks in the changing room except for the ones inside the lockers. No shelves or tables either. Just one bench.

* There is a lock on the door from the changing room to the gym proper, but it still requires coordination between people using the changing room, as the mirror is placed in such a way that even if the unclothed person gets out of the way of the door, it will still be possible to see him/her in the mirror’s reflection.

* The changing room floors are slick linoleum, which can be problematic for anyone with wet feet.

AND FINALLY…

From the second floor stairway foyer, employees can either go to the bathrooms (and then the fitness room beyond) or down the long hallway to be used by various corporate personnel. That Guy learned today that that hallway has no overhead lighting, so staff members who work the late-night shifts walk through the bathroom/shower/fitness rooms to get to the large storage facility on the second floor. This is amusing.

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