diverse alarums*

* After five minutes spent with Google, I had a really difficult time figuring out what the official definition of “diverse (or divers, or diuerse) alarums” actually is. What it means is something akin to a whole bunch of craziness going down. But, as you’ll see, the pun was, in my opinion, too good to leave out.

CC-licensed photo by Phu Son

As I have mentioned in the past, I work in a fairly-large room full of many a cubicle. I hear lots of interesting noises — people playing YouTube videos, other people working in manufacturing and content creation, a ton of phones (both cell and not) ringing incessantly, and of course all of us talking.

But over the past few days, I kept hearing this beeping. Over and over, for about five minutes, there would be a small series of beeps, just on the edge of my hearing. After that, I would get a 15-to-20-minute reprieve, and then it would begin once more.

I finally tracked it down to our cellphone specialist’s desk. He had an old phone on a shelf that someone had used to set an alarm — maybe to wake up, or to feed the cat; I really don’t know — and, since he doesn’t spend all day at his desk, what with being a man of many hats, it’s difficult to track him down and ask him why that phone is still beeping.

Besides, I like to think I’m a pretty bright guy; it was a matter of seconds to open the phone, find the “acknowledge alarm” button, and press it.

Mission accomplished, right?

Wrong.

The next day, I heard it beeping again. I didn’t think the specialist has been to his desk or he might have heard it, but I heard it. So I went to that desk, acknowledged the alarm, and then turned the phone off.

Twenty minutes later, the beeping continues.

Now, because I turned the phone off, I thought I was safe. I thought there might be another phone somewhere that was also beeping. Me and one of our PR people scoured the cubicle farm, but to no avail, until I finally realized that it was that phone yet again, breaking through the powered-off setting to alert people who don’t care about an event that we can’t fathom the purpose of.

This time, I took the battery out. I left it in clear view of everyone on his desk, phone then battery then back cover. I’m curious as to how long before he finds it again.

I’ve got a post brewing on cell phone ringers, alerts, and alarms, but suffice it to say that if your phone has an alarm on it, please, for the love of whatever or whomever you believe in, turn it off when you turn it in!

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