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The Plight of the Fat Guy 3: Free Food July 8, 2009

Posted by That Guy in Free Food!, Observations, The Plight of the Fat Guy.
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Here’s another week on CorporateSpeak: the Plight of the Fat Guy.

Here at CorporateSpeak, there’s always free food — today, in fact, when I got in there was Chick-fil-A on the table. (Yes, I ate some.)

Free food is an unending plight for fat guys. See, fat guys are always hungry. Most of them hate it. They hate that they’re always eating and that whenever they try not to eat they end up feeling sick and overeating as a result*. And food’s getting more expensive these days, too. We’re all trying to save money. Fat guys eat more, so they have to buy more food. Why shouldn’t they take advantage of free food?

fat-lolcatWell, for starters, because the rest of the office gives them The Look. The one that says, “hey, fattie, don’t eat all the cake/Chick-fil-A/chips/leftovers from the sales meeting/barbecue/popcorn, because the rest of us want some too.” The walk of a fat guy to the communal food table is often worse for him than the walk of shame is for a woman who’s just spent the night at her lover’s house.

But the fat guy can’t resist. And really, it would be silly of him not to. It’s free food. It’s just something he’s probably gotten used to and, after being fat for a while, he’s grown a nice, thick skin the looks bounce right off of.

Hopefully.

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* Yes, I have personal knowledge of this phenomenon.

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