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Welcome to corporatespeak: a guide to the crap you hear at the office.

Abbreviations: Common corporate abbreviations and how they make your life difficult.
Definitions: Phrases you hear that don’t mean quite what you think they mean.
Did I Hear That Right? Things said in the office that make you slam your head against your desk with the incredulity of it all.
Meeting Minutes: The sheer volume of corporatespeak is never higher when a meeting is held.
Staff: The people at your office. Probably That Guy’s favorite thing to write.
Tips For Corporate Success: Whenever something bad happens to That Guy, he shares it with you so you can learn from his difficulties.

Just so you know, the image in the header is courtesy of Flickr user bjohnson and has been licensed for use under Creative Commons. Here is a link to the photo.

And just who is “That Guy”? Well, I work for a company with thousands of employees scattered across the United States. I’m in one of our biggest cities — one of the ten largest in the country. About 150 people work in my building at any given time, out of more than 200 permanent employees. I myself am a web designer, which means I’m pulled in hundreds of different directions because no one in the building except my immediate supervisor really knows exactly what I do and what I’m capable of doing. I’ve been forced to learn how to do other jobs almost as a defense mechanism. I like a lot of aspects of my job, but not all of them. I’m also a semiprofessional writer — that is, I do get paid for some of the things I’ve written, although they don’t have my name on them.



1. obsidianfactory - May 29, 2009

Well, I wanna be a web designer as well though I hopefully, INSHALLAH (a phrase in my religion stating on the lines of “Hopefully, Allah (God) will let me.”) do so.

I am still a student but I am very interested in your site so I will come more often to view your updates! ^_^

2. Victoria - October 1, 2009

I stumbled across your site by accident. I can totally relate. I thought it was just me thinking these things. I love the “no-motion”. Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.

3. That Guy - October 1, 2009

I’m glad you like it. Thanks for visiting. Tell your friends. :)

4. tanya cameron - August 2, 2010

Hello, I noticed you have my picture up on your article “for your years of devoted service January 29, 2009” could you please remove it.

Tanya Cameron

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