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the time for exchanging gifts November 30, 2009

Posted by That Guy in Observations, Pictures, Seen Elsewhere.
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I saw this bit of hilarity on Passive Aggressive Notes.

I’ve never had any major problems with corporate bathrooms, but I’m told that the ladies’ rooms in my building are nightmares. The worst that happens in the men’s rooms is a little splashback on the floor, but from what my coworker told me, the women leave things on the walls and the seats, find ways to arrest the automatic flushers so they leave little presents, and are generally unclean and disgusting.

I’m really glad I’m not on the maintenance staff, if that’s true.

When I worked in retail, each stall in the ladies’ room (which I had to clean some nights) had a small trash can for non-toilet trash. (I think you know what I mean.) They were never really unpleasant, either; the hardest part for me was convincing the managers to store-use a box of gloves so I could protect my hands from the mess. Maybe it’s just my co-workers, or maybe it’s just the ones on my floor.

This sign, though, suffers from the main pitfall of posting semi-amusing signs: people don’t listen, make fun of the person who posts them, rip them down, or post retaliatory signs of their own. It’s too bad because it really is a pretty funny sign.

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take a drink of water August 28, 2009

Posted by That Guy in Seen Elsewhere.
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From MLIA:

Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but when I saw my boss go into the bathroom first I got a drink from the fountain instead because I didn’t want to stand next to him at the urinal. MLIA

Related: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

That Guy’s Tips for Corporate Success, #17 April 15, 2009

Posted by That Guy in Tips for Corporate Success, Wasting Time.
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On a day when the vast majority of Americans either are pooped on by the government or are waiting to get money back that they’ve invested in a zero-interest-savings-account with the government, I figured it would be a nice relief* to read something amusing.

CC-licensed photo by Ruthanne Reid.

CC-licensed photo by Ruthanne Reid.

About poop.

Unfortunately, someone’s already written a treatise as to why you should poop at work. I’m not going to step on Laurie Ruettimann’s masterwork, “Do You Poo At Work? (Because Maybe You Should), but I am going to pull a little bit of it for you to enjoy:

I have a very good friend who once confessed to me that he only poops at work. He told me that it is the American dream to get paid to take a dump. Lots of people are losing their jobs, he said, and he intended on taking advantage of one of the few remaining perks in life – sitting on the toilet at his office.

He said, “Why poop at home if someone is paying you to work? Might as well poop on the clock.”

And that, my friends, is the crux of the issue. Your company cannot legally prevent you from going to the bathroom (I think). If you’re not abusing the privilege, then what’s the problem? So you take 20 minutes in the bathroom to read the paper. So you answer the occasional e-mail to the sound of others flushing and running. So you inadvertently observe who’s washing their hands and who’s on yellow alert — that is, who hasn’t at least made a token effort to rinse their hands. At the very least you’ll know not to use their desks, right?

While I don’t advertise it to my co-workers, I think I can share with you that I do poop at work. Sometimes twice a day. When the urge comes upon me, why should I suppress it? There are four bathrooms in this building, plus a semi-secret pair of stalls near one of the conference rooms. Why shouldn’t I use one of them? What’s the problem?

Haven’t pooped at work yet? Try it out. You may find it more relaxing than you ever expected.

Just because you’re on the clock doesn’t mean you shouldn’t poop at work.

There’s your tip for Tax Day. Enjoy.

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* See what I did there?